Bette: One of the reasons I can top as well as I can is that I am totally detached. SM is a power and control trip for me. My main focus and function is not getting myself off. It’s creating a balance and a sense of pleasure/pain so that I can take my bottom into a kind of meditative, euphoric state and then bring him out, take him back and bring him out again.
I don’t consider myself a dominant; I feel that I am a sadist. I like to hurt people. I like to hurt men especially. I don’t care about the foot worshiping and the groveling and the sniveling and the submissive stuff and all the other things that submissive men get into. I’m not putting that down, because it’s very important in many people’s lives. But I just want to get in there, tie the guy up, blindfold him and hurt him.
Richard: I feel differently. I like the games of dominance and submission. I like to go fetch and go do things and be told to go do this and go do that and I love telling somebody to do it. I want to be a Master at some point. I want to be a slave at another point. But I also like pain. I like giving it and I like receiving it. I get off the most when I’m hurting the most, or the person that I’m playing with is hurting the most.
Pain is a mind-altering drug. Pain can give intense mental-sexual climaxes that you can’t get through a physical orgasm. My orgasms during a pain trip are definitely spiritual. With an ordinary physical orgasm, you reach a point of climax and you shoot and your body goes limp. It needs to rest because it’s spent. Going through a pain trip, your mind thinks it has reached a plateau and can’t do any more. Then, all of a sudden, a new toy is brought out and you’re doing something above that level. Each time you reach a new level, it’s like another climax. You reach a point of ecstasy that you don’t reach by shooting cum out of your cock. You have a mental orgasm, which is much more powerful than a physical one. You can get more climaxes out of pain and you’re not depleted afterwards. You can go do it again. That’s the hook of the drug, you want to do it again, and my drug is pain.
Bette: You can’t attain the state that Richard is talking about without a certain type of breathing, a certain type of mind-set, a certain focus. You need to know how to meditate. The breathing helps you focus and process the physical pain. The physical pain helps you get to a higher pain level. The breathing helps you focus and process more pain, which shoots you to a higher level of pain. A skilled top brings you up to your maximum level, lets you stay there for a few moments, a few seconds, however long you can sustain it. I can tell from a submissive’s body language when the submissive has been at that level long enough. Then I either increase or decrease the pain. I never decrease it to zero. If I decrease, it’s only just a tiny bit and then I increase it even more, so their level climbs.
After a while, you don’t even have to use pain. If you use sensory deprivationblindfolding them and taking part of their hearing awayyou don’t really have to hurt somebody, if you’ve got them trained well enough. At one point in time I used my hair a lot, just ran my hair across somebody’s body. Well, if your senses are really, really enhanced, my hair could feel like a thousand little needle-pricks. If you’ve had a severe whipping on your butt or your back, and I touch you there with a feather, that feather can feel like a knife. It really, really can.
Richard: My nipples are a point of sexual focus for me. I wear a chain between my nipple rings 90 per cent of the time, so when I walk I can play with my nipples and no one knows what the hell I’m doing. I’m pulling on my nipples just like I’m scratching my belly or something. I get a sexual charge out of that.
Much my work is redundant as hell. If the adjustments weren’t so critical, I could do it in my sleep. My mind wanders to sexual pleasures and I play with my tits. It’s easier than playing with my cock. So that charges me throughout the day. When I masturbate I play with my nipples, and I love having my tits manipulated and played with during a scene. I like the feeling of metal inside my body. When I turn the nipple rings or the cock ring I can feel that intrusive metalness inside my body and that seems to stimulate the sexual response. If I rub the tit back and forth, I can feel the metal inside, or underneath the skin, and that’s a real sexual turn-on.
Men only allow themselves to get pleasure from the cock. There are other regions of the body that are just as stimulating as the end of the dickthe tits, the ass, the inside of the thighs, under the arms, all the way down the side of the body. There are all sorts of really neat erogenous zones that men don’t play with, but they should.
from an interview with Bette and Richard